SoJo,
Your comment about the force that a piece of paper has reminded me of my paternal grandparents. (I know this story is a total distraction, but it is informative).
My grandparents lived during the Austria-Hungary empire. Austria does not recognise religious marriages; it only recognises civil ceremonies conducted under the auspices of the State. That situation did not interest my Jewish Grandparents: they were fully satisfied that their union had been blessed by their Rabbi.
But as far as the State was concerned, they were not legally married and the Birth certificates of their first 3 children were marked as "illegitimate". Finally, in 1907, when she was carrying their 4th child, they bowed to the State's pressures and they went through a civil ceremony in Vienna. Their children's certificates were retrospectively amended.
It was not unknown for a Jewish couple to go through a civil ceremony after having lived together for 60 years after receiving their Rabbi's blessing. My gradmother was permanently listed as illegitimate because her mother died before her parents had a civil ceremony, only a religious one by their Rabbi.
The power of the State; the power of a piece of paper.
I suppose the legal situation is not dissimilar for modren same-sex couples when it comes to passing on the estate of a deceased partner, or regarding the legal status of their children. Although I think that is addressed in the State where I live, even though same-sex unions are not legal here in Oz.
Doug